We started blogging our life as best friends, husband and wife, in 2006 shortly after we got married. Once we had children, I created a new blog for our growing family. This is our blog sharing the story of our life: beginning with our first pregnancy and our journey as parents to our beloved firstborn, BB1, who arrived in our world perfectly on 11.5.2010 and his precious sister, BB2, born on 10.6.2012, our sweet third baby, BB3, born 2.3.2015, our 3rd vivacious daughter, BB6, born on 5.1.2018 and our 2nd living son and final Bruffey Baby, BB8, born 6.23.2021. We also love our 3 greatly missed babies in Heaven, BB4 (born in Heaven at 5 weeks 5 days on 10.8.2016) BB5 (born still at 16 weeks on 2.5.2017), and BB7 (born in Heaven at 7 weeks 3 days on 10.23.2019). I will share my stories of our family, of being a wife, a mother, a home manager, a friend, a woman, a Hope Mom, and a person pursuing hope in Christ through life and death, joy and pain. Welcome to our journey!

"Show me the path where I should walk, O LORD; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you."
Psalm 24: 4 - 5

Sunday, May 31, 2020

Racial Awareness: Resources for Families Seeking Change Within and Around

My Story


I am white. I am hearing. I am American. I am middle class. I have privilege. And I want to know myself and my world and my fellow humans better so I can be better and do better and better yield the privileges I was born into. I have learned much from the Deaf Community both here in the States and Internationally. And there is much I want to learn from other people around me, especially Black friends, who are oppressed, unheard, mistreated, abused, and even murdered for just being who they are, who God created them to be. 

I took a lengthy break from using our family blog due to various familial issues where I needed to pull inward. Then, after our son died in 2017 and was stillborn, it has been a grief journey that included a pregnancy after loss (which is its own challenge) and me living life in something of a tunnel. As my youngest child on earth neared 2 years old and my family connected with a local homeschool co-op, I found the Lord gently leading me out of that tunnel to better reconnect with the world outside my 4 walls. The timing seems divinely planned. We joined a local homeschool co-op, revamped our homeschool , settled on a name, I began baking and cooking like "me" again, I even began cleaning up my beauty products and cleaning products, and in May 2019 I took back on our finances and began our debt free journey with renewed vigor, etc. Then, came March 2020 and the Coronavirus pandemic. And then, in May 2020, more police brutality reaching a peak with the reprehensible murder of George Floyd at the hands (and knees) of a policeman in uniform who did anything BUT "protect and serve". I'll resist pulling out my soap box about our criminal injustice system and my belief that it needs to be completely dismantled and rebuilt to truly be an entity that serves ALL citizens. That said, my heart has been heavy and my mind reeling. I know Mr. Floyd is FAR from the first Black man/American murdered by police... I have wept and wrestled with the reality of the oppression of my fellow Americans whose skin doesn't look like mine for years. But now that I've emerged from my own tunnel of grief and uncertainty, I want to be more vocal, more active, more a part of the solution so my children and children of color have a different and better future. 


Click to go to the offical Black Lives Matter website.
As A Mother - For The Children's Sake

Thus far, I've worked within our home to teach my children about the history of racism in our nation and world and diversify our bookshelves and history (that teaches the history of all people from as many perspectivs as possible). I've reached out to friends of color to do better at decolonizing our bookshelves. And these dear friends, who carry this burden daily in a way I never have and never will because I am white, have been graciously willing to share other tips and ways to be an active part of the solution to racism in America and in our world. My first goal is to raise my children to be racially aware. That is the foundation of my action because I see that racism is taught and starts with the heart. 

As An Individual

Beyond that, there are ways I have been learning lately that I can be involved as a supporter and advocate. Over the years, through God teaching me through friends of color and my studies at Gallaudet about issues of power, oppression, privilege, and humanity... I've grown to see more and more what it means to be white and what it SHOULD mean... that ALL spaces belong to ALL people and that there is white privilege and there is oppression of people of color. I grew up knowing about the mistreatment of people whose skin did not look like mine and my parents taught me to love all people because God made and loves all people. However, there has been so much more that I needed to learn. And still, even with years of study and discussions with white friends and friends of color, I want to be a life long learner - if in no other area - in the area of humanity and God's view of our place in this world - Jesus WAS a social justice warrior. To be like Christ IS to fight for the rights of all. To start with looking inward and then look outward with more awareness. I don't have it all nailed down, but I'm committed to listening. And learning. The Deaf community taught me that I am hearing and has taught me what that means in Deaf spaces and how to respect their culture and pursue being supportive and using hearing privilege when needed to advocate with those who are Deaf whose rights and humanity are trampled more often than not. And in learning about Deaf/hearing issues... my Deaf Studies program brought in issues of race, class, gender, etc.  I am thankful. Thankful to be challenged so that ultimately I and my husband and children can be a part of making this world better for all.  I've wrestled with what I can or SHOULD do because of a phrase and movement I learned within the Deaf community - "nothing about us without us." Because - within the Deaf community, there is a long history of paternalism and oppression and people doing things "for" Deaf people that made it worse and not better. And I want to avoid the very problematic "white savior" approach of well-meaning but misguided white people who make things worse or focus on themselves. This uncertainty admittedly lead me to simply go silent and still. But with Mr Floyd's murder, God has kicked my heart into action and into ASKING from people of color who I care about... I've read the posts and articles flying up my newsfeed from friends of color who are hurting and scared and strong and show hope and offer tangible ways to be a part of the solution. 

Eyes, Ears, Heart, and Mind

The first thing I've learned from the Deaf Community and now the Black Community is those of us from priviledge communities who are born into having more power... should start with listening - with our eyes, with our ears, with our heart. I've long told my children what active listening means and taught them that true listening means listening with their "eyes, ears, heart, and mind." That's my goal and desire - to LISTEN. And one of those ways I've read that I, as a white person, should listen is NOT by putting pressure or a burden on those already carrying the burden of racial targeting and oppression... but rather to READ resources that are already out there. So friends have shared resources for me and my children and I am passing those along here. 

For Children

Thank you to my dear friend and fellow interpreter, Folami Ford, for these resources: 

Raising Race Conscious Children (books)

Books from this post:

Also from this site Raising Race Conscious Children, I love this article about the book by Eric Carle "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?" regarding explicitly naming race. It is a favorite book in our home and I plan to utilize the recommendations from this site in reading it to my children. 


Also from Raising Race Conscious Children (THANK YOU Folami for this site!!) - an excellent read on talking with your white children about race in an on-going way to raise them to be anti-racist and supporters and participants in the movements to stand against racism and white supremacy. 


Thank you to my friend and fellow homeschooling mama, Tara Green, for these resources:


This is a list from a church member at our church here, LaRonda Jackson:


This is the first book in a series I found at the beginning of this year and am having my oldest daugther (age 7.5) read:

UPDATE: June 19, 2020 - In searching YouTube for Juneteenth resources for my children, I happened upon this YouTube Channel by The Tutu Teacher - after watching her excellent video on race with my children, I was reading in her bio and made my way to her Teacher's Pay Teachers page and bought this Diverse Book List resource that she has compiled!

For Adults

This is a post  on Facebook I am drawing on from my dear friend (and sister!), Colette Correa. Colette and I met as international students in Hong Kong in Fall 1998 - we are kindred spirits and became prayer partners and friends. She is a strong woman of faith who challenges and encourages me. I hope she will leave this post up so that it is always available.

Books:
Books I have found in searching online:

Movies/Documenteries:

3. “𝗥𝗮𝗰𝗲: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗻 𝗜𝗹𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻” Directed by Christine Herbes-Sommers, Tracy Heather Strain and Llewellyn Smith (More Resources) (on YouTube)

Actions to Take:

This is a fabulous list of things to DO shared from a local fellow homeschooling mom (and business owner!), Shayla Dabney. She is a mom I look up to in terms of how she cares for her family (of 9!) - I always wanted a big family and she is something of a hero to me - a loving mother of 7 children who is committed to God and her marriage and loving those around her. I've been blessed to know her and thankful for her sharing this list and her own heart as a woman and mother of color. 


This is from Pastor John M. Yeats:

Film: American Gospel (also on Netflix)

8 Things my White Friends Can do About Racism by Theo Davis (found shared from a friend on Facebook)


Finally, for now, one of the things my husband and I have talked about and I've sought to LISTEN to is the perspectives that reframe the occurrence of riots and protests and even looting and destruction... a people long oppressed and abused... it makes so much sense to me why these actions are taken. Thank you to those who shared this article. 




My heart is to do right by People of Color in listening and learning. I am open to feedback and instruction where my words fail or misrepresent or need to be improved or corrected. If you are a Person of Color and need to share your heart or offer feedback, please feel free to email me at elizabethparishbruffey@gmail.com so I can continue to learn and guide my children best in this world.


To my brothers and sisters in Christ - we cannot bury our heads or remain silent. As I've read and been listening, I see People of Coloring virtually begging us to STAND UP and SPEAK UP. And saying that this starts with listening and reading and walking WITH our brothers and sisters of color. Let's join together so things DO CHANGE - starting at the heart and mind level and blooming out so that society and the world becomes different, and safer, for all.

"learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause"
~ Isaiah 1:17

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
~ Micah 6:8

"But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue and every herb, and neglect justice and the love of God. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others."
~ Luke 11:42









Posted by at
Labels: , , , , ,

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)