Ruth Evelyn Bruffey
Born 10.6.12
3:57am
7lbs, 19 inches
After a beautiful, water homebirth for our precious daughter, our first week with her has shown us already how strong our beloved daughter is, just like the women for whom she was named!
Before I share about the intense week for our daughter, let me share some pictures of this precious first week of her life:
October 6, 2012
~ First Day of Life ~
Precious little zebra in her first outfit, from her great Aunt Linda (thank you Annie!)
Meeting her Grandmother!
October 7, 2012
Bedtime Story with Jacob and Ruth
Before I share about the intense week for our daughter, let me share some pictures of this precious first week of her life:
October 6, 2012
~ First Day of Life ~
Me and my two little ones
LOVE!
Nap time for Mama and Ruth
What a beautiful baby!
Roses from my Daddy for his daughter and granddaughter!
Beautiful roses! Mama asked Daddy if they should get the pink or the white with pink tips and he said, "both!" I love my Daddy!
Along with the roses, we have displayed the gift birth certificate from In His Hands birth supply, that now have Ruth's first footprints done by our midwive, and a sweet heart made from her dried umbilical cord and a print of our placenta both done by our placenta encapsulation specialist.
Sweet nap in Mama's arms
Grandmother wanted a picture of this cute, ruffled bottom!
Sweet, swaddle nap!
Our bright eyed girl!
Time with Daddy!
We think she's signing "Mama"!!
Meeting Tante Maren!! We love her!
October 8, 2012
Napping in her preemie outfit!
Snuggle time with Mama
Mama, Daughter, and Roses from Granddaddy
Sweet girl - looking for the milk!
October 9, 2012
Trying out her swing! Jacob LOVES to watch her in the swing - there is a part that changes colors and, even when little sister is sleeping, he will stand and point and say, LOUDLY, "SWING! BLUE! YELLOW!, GREEN!, RED!" Makes us laugh!
She was snuggly sleeping, but needed to wake to eat and for a diaper change, so I captured the "unswaddling" process as her Daddy opened our little baby burrito!
Cozy baby girl
Daddy starts the unswaddling...
She begins to waken...
One little arm streeeetches up!
Whoa, Daddy!! I was sooo snuggly!
October 10, 2012
precious little zebra napping - I LOVE how babies will smile in their sleep!
Wednesday night, Josh and I had a date night with our 4 day old cutie. Here I am giving our sleeping angel a kiss that Josh captured on film!
Ready to watch "The Voice" with my hubby!
October 11, 2012
Her first dress!
An afternoon nap - we were exhausted!
Bedtime Story with Jacob and Ruth
Giving his sister a snuggle
I love this book for a big brother - it shows the Mama breastfeeding and babywearing. Here I am signing to Jacob about the Mama feeding the baby milk. Now, when I'm breastfeeding Ruth, he'll say, "Baby milk!"
Jacob helping "read" the story!
A goodnight kiss for baby Ruth!
October 12, 2012
On Friday, we finally updated our calendar system, adding all the birthdays from our family that included Ruth's on 10/6 and our cousin, Owen, who was born to my cousin Tommy and his wife, Courtney, on 10/10!
October 13, 2012
One Week Old!
THIS is how to celebrate being a week old, smile!
So, this, for the most part, was our first week as a family of four! However, there were several doctor's appointments that became necessary for our sweet girl, so here is what we faced and what Ruth faced during her first week of life...
I. A Beautiful Mouth Needed Release
In preparing for this baby, Josh and I had a great, in-home, customized breastfeeding class with a local IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant), Mellanie Sheppard, and an IBCLC in training, Naya Weber. In our time with Mellanie, one thing we discussed was the fact that Jacob had a slight upper lip tie that was not discovered until he was 10 months old, which then helped us understand the early pain we had in breastfeeding that took almost 7 weeks to subside and would come back from time to time throughout our 12 1/2 month breastfeeding relationship. It helped me really understand some of his early breastfeeding patterns with frequent nursing and some of the pain his tummy had, coupled with his reflux and exacerbated by dairy/soy intolerance. We also realized in this journey that Josh has the SAME mouth as Jacob and a slight upper lip tie. We learned that these are hereditary, and Mellanie told us it was thus a great chance that Ruth and any future babies are likely to have the same thing.
Well, when our awesome midwife, Joni, did Ruth's newborn exam on her birth day, she found that she did indeed have an upper lip tie - and hers was more severe. Her little frenulum ran all the way to the tip of her gumline! This is also called an upper labial tie or a maxillary labial frenulum. My doula and I looked at each other as Joni mentioned this and nodded. Kaitlyn, our doula, has breastfeeding specialization, which is part of why we chose her, knowing we might be dealing with a lip tie and thus a laser surgery soon after birth and thus "relearning" latch for our little one, and she knew we were prepared for this possibility. At the recommendation of our midwife, our chiropractor, Dr. Chandra Crisp of New Beginnings Chiropractic in Keller, TX, came to our home to adjust Ruth the day she was born (how much do I LOVE our local birth community!!) and confirmed the lip tie and its severity. We spent the weekend praying for her and the doctor we would call - for them to see us quickly and have an available time soon for the corrective procedure. By Saturday evening of Ruth's birth, I already had blisters unlike anything I'd had with Jacob and severe pain. Ruth was also nursing every 10 to 20 minutes and we knew it was because she couldn't transfer milk as effectively as she needed to fill her tummy - classic sign of a lip tie (or tongue tie for some babies). Even with the pain, I had such peace because I knew the reason and knew there was hope and a way to address it! I'm so grateful the Lord had taught us about this and given us resources before the birth of our little one so we were equipped and empowered, just as we were with our pregnancy! I sent out a text to a few people asking for prayer and we waited for Monday morning!
First thing Monday morning, we called Dr. Hugh Oser, who has come recommended by our IBCIC, our doula, our midwife, and our chiropractor. I have many Mama friends in this area whose children have had the same issue and procedure to correct it (including our doula, whose youngest had an upper lip tie and a lip tie that was corrected by Dr. Oser), so I felt confident in what we needed to do to help our precious daughter. When we called, they had a 1pm appointment the very next day and we took it gladly. They also told us that they usually reserve every other Friday for the laser surgeries so they are scheduled around Dr. Oser's regular dental practice, and the next surgery day was Friday October 19th. I almost cried and asked if he ever did them other times. I was told that, yes, he did if it was a severe situation he would schedule it around his regular practice. I had the same people praying that Ruth's diagnosis would be clear and a time would be available the same day or within a day for the corrective laser surgery.
For more information on lip-ties and tongue-ties in infants/children, this is an excellent article:
https://breastfeedingusa.org/content/article/tell-me-about-tongue-ties
As I read it, I realize that much of what we walked through with Jacob was due to his lip tie (and most likely a tongue tie).
For more information on lip-ties and tongue-ties in infants/children, this is an excellent article:
https://breastfeedingusa.org/content/article/tell-me-about-tongue-ties
As I read it, I realize that much of what we walked through with Jacob was due to his lip tie (and most likely a tongue tie).
10.9.12
Ready to visit Dr. Oser
Daddy's Girl!
On Tuesday, 10/9/12, we met with Dr. Oser at 1pm and he was wonderful! His "bedside manner" was one of the best I've ever experienced in taking my child to a doctor. He had me hold Ruth with her head in his lap as he examined her mouth. He confirmed her severe upper lip tie AND told us she had a severe tongue tie! THIS would explain the severity of my pain and her frequent nursing pattern! Praise God for this CLEAR diagnosis. With the emotion of Mamahood, I asked Dr. Oser if we would have to wait until the 19th or if there was anyway to correct her ties sooner. He smiled and said we would definitely do it sooner than that and he went to talk with his scheduler! We rejoiced, telling him we would come back ANY time that worked for him. He came back and asked if we could come back the same day at 4:30pm. Josh said immediately, "absolutely!" So, we spent a couple of hours in the Keller area with our 2 little ones, part of which included buying Ruth a new carseat! We'd planned to use a convertible seat we already had, but found her SO tiny that it was just too big and did no seem safe. We found a Graco one I love at Babies 'R Us, and Josh installed it when we got back to Dr. Oser's office and were waiting for her surgery appointment time!
Here we are at Babies 'R Us:
Here we are at Babies 'R Us:
This is my BabyHawk Mei Tai, which I love - but I quickly realized it doesn't allow for a truly deep enough seat for my newborn's hips, which I'll discuss below.
At exactly 4:30pm, Dr. Oser took my precious 3-day-old girl back for her laser surgery to release her 2 ties. My heart ached and I cried and prayed as she was gone, knowing it was for her best and our best, but aching for the pain she would feel. Josh and I sat and held hands and loved on our Jacob as we waited. The procedure was incredibly fast and it wasn't too long before Ruth was back in our arms! Dr. Oser sat with us and showed us the daily exercises we'd have to do 4 times a day for 4 weeks to stretch her mouth and ensure that the ties did not reattach as the skin healed. The exercises are awful in the sense they are painful and make our sweet daughter cry, but a blessing because we know they are allowing her mouth to heal as it needs to so she can eat and flourish! We then headed to my doula's house to work on latch. It was SO incredible how different Ruth's latch already was! Her top lip stretched over my breast more than Jacob's ever did! Oh the power of knowledge!
In the past week since her laser surgery, my blisters have healed and she is nursing so well! There is some normal "adjusting to breastfeeding" pain that I've had, but it is NOTHING compared to the first 3 days when it was excruciating for me and less than effective for her! Thank you Lord for Dr. Oser and my knowledgeable birth team that identified Ruth's tie!
Our chiropractor came again this past Friday to adjust Ruth as a part of her post-op therapy per a recommendation from our IBCLC. She was amazed in looking at Ruth's tongue at how severe her tie had been. She showed us how Ruth's tongue tends to want to raise up in the back of her throat, which is what is causing me still some discomfort as it pulls against the breast. She explained it will take time for her to learn how to use her tongue correctly.
We had her post-op follow up this morning and Dr. Oser was so pleased with how she is healing that we don't have to see him again unless we have concerns! He complimented Josh and I on how we are doing her exercises, as evidenced by her healing! That made us so glad, as we do not enjoy the exercises and are glad to see they are doing what they should. He said that we still have another full 3 weeks for her mouth to heal, but that we are on the right track! We are so proud of our strong baby girl!
10.15.2012
Waiting to see Dr. Oser for post-op evaluation
II. A Little Spot On A Precious Head
At birth, our midwife team noticed an unusual spot on Ruth's head that they had not seen before. We wondered if it was a birthmark, but they did not think so and recommended we have it looked at sooner than later. My heart was concerned, but knew that the Lord had watched and protected Ruth's life thus far and would continue to do so according to His plan. This is what it looks like:
After calling Dr. Oser, we then called our new family doctor who we will be using for both children and us, Dr. Sharon Dennis with Arlington Family Practice. We chose her because she is well known in the natural living community in our area. She used to be a midwife and is now a D.O. and is a doctor who is skilled and family supportive. We are excited to have her guide the care of our children and family! I know she tends to be booked out and, when I initially sent in our new patient paperwork, was told that she sees newborns when they are about 2 weeks old. I spent the weekend, along with a small group of prayer warriors in my life, praying she would see Ruth sooner to see what this was on my baby's head. Our chiropractor told us it looked like an abnormal cell growth as one possibility and, if it was, they might want to take part of it to check and ensure it was benign. Of course, words like "benign" and "cell growth" made my heart concerned, but I prayed and again was reminded that my children are really GOD'S, His creations, that He loves more than I ever could and I am just a blessed steward of their precious lives. My doula, now friend, reminded me that His eyes are on the sparrow and are CERTAINLY on the life of Ruth Evelyn Bruffey!! All the time waiting for her birth and grappling with the waiting prepared my heart to really rest in my Lord!
When I spoke with the office of Dr. Dennis and explained that our daughter had been born at home and was healthy, but that she had this possible abnormal cell growth and that we were hoping Dr. Dennis could see her earlier than 2 weeks, the receptionist immediately said, "Oh! We see babies born in the hospital at 2 weeks, but babies born at home immediately." Relief flooded me! Although the implication is not one I necessarily agree with, I was grateful that our home birth allowed Ruth to be seen sooner than later! They had an appointment Wednesday at 11:30am, and we took it! So, the day after Ruth's laser surgery, we loaded her and Jacob back in the car and headed to Arlington (about 30 miles from home).
Our postpartum instructions were for me to be in bed the first 3 days postpartum, then no real activity other than moving from bed to couch and taking care of my baby for the first week for optimal physical and emotional healing. After this, I am supposed to do just one activity a day (ie - cook one meal or do one load of laundry) for up to the 2nd week, and minimal activity through the 3rd week. Well, the needs of our little one made this not possible that first week, so we are again grateful for our peaceful home birth that gave us the first 3 days unhindered by anything medical, as we spent our first week in many doctors' offices!
Our little bowhead snuggled in her new car seat ready for her 2nd day of being out in the big world - at just 4 days old!
She matches her carseat, hehe!
My two little ones all snuggled in the car, ready to head to see Dr. Dennis!
When we arrived at Dr. Dennis' office, both of my littles were fast asleep!
Dr. Dennis saw us quickly and examined our sweet Ruth. There were several things we liked about Dr. Dennis and look forward to Jacob seeing her for his 2 year check up in November! We were prayerful that she would be able to identify Ruth's head spot, but she did not know what it was either, so referred us to a local pediatric dermatologist. I was disappointed not to have an answer, but glad there was a specialist in our area to see next!
We called the dermatologist that day and had an appointment available for the very next day at 1pm! We were elated, though tired thinking of a 3rd day in a row at a doctor's office, we knew the Lord was opening doors to take care of each health need for our precious baby!
Me and my girl in the "magic" ring sling! The moment I put her in, she fell asleep!
Love babywearing a little one again!
So, Thursday we loaded our family of 4 back into our little blue van and headed to the office of Dr. Fred Ghali with Pediatric Dermatology of North Texas. We prayed for a clear diagnosis and game plan for our daughter! We were seen quickly and the nurse who did our intake knew immediately what the spot on Ruth's head was! She told us that the doctor would confirm it and tell us about treatment. She said it was common and NOT cancer and not something to worry about. I felt SO relieved that she knew so quickly what she was seeing and that it was something they had seen before! I was still prayerful as we waited to see Dr. Ghali and find out about treatment, because the idea of "treatment" let me know there was something to what this spot was. Dr. Ghali came in soon after and examined Ruth and immediately confirmed what the nurse had thought, that Ruth's head spot is called a Nevus Sebaceous and is a type of birthmark that is a hairless area caused due to an overgrowth of sebaceous glands in the area and is present at birth. It occurs equally among genders and all races. It CAN lead to the cells becoming cancerous, but this is not seen until adolescence or adulthood, after the hormones change and develop in the body during this time. The current research shows that 2% - 5% of those with this birthmark will develop the cancerous cells, so, though this is low, it is recommended it be removed prior to the teenage years, preferably between the ages of 2 and 5, but not earlier, since the child must be put under anesthesia for the procedure. The spot will grow as Ruth's head does, which is another reason for having it done sooner than later, so that the spot to remove is not too big. Once it is removed, it just leaves a line scar that hair will easily cover and having it removed avoids any chance at cancer. We were SO thrilled to hear that it is common and that Dr. Ghali has seen it often in his practice. He said that he has had to biopsy a few young people with one when it changed shape or grew out of the area and that none of them had ever been malignant. He told us there is nothing we need to do other than wait until she is about 2 or so unless a bump grows up out of the area, which is rare. So, we were given the name of a doctor in our area that does the procedure, who we will call when Ruth is about 2 to arrange to have the spot removed. For now, we just thank God for such a quick, clear diagnosis and plan of action and rejoice in our daughter! We also will watch the spot to check for any growths out of it and continue to pray for her health as we wait to have the spot removed. Since learning what she has, a few friends who were praying shared that either their own child or a friend's child had the same type of birthmark spot and have had no issues with it, or have had it removed and have had no problems throughout their life. God again provided resources and information to guide us as parents and care for our children and we are so very grateful!
III. A Click In Her Hip
On Wednesday, while at Dr. Dennis' office, Dr. Dennis noticed a slight click in Ruth's right hip while examining her. She told us it could be nothing or it could mean congenital hip dysplasia. She said it was nothing to be too concerned about now, but to double diaper her and we would just watch it over the coming weeks and months. Being a part of the babywearing community, I'm familiar with hip dysplasia and the concern for this in little ones as their hips/ligaments are first developing. Having already been dealing with Ruth's little mouth and head, I was overcome with emotion when Dr. Dennis mentioned this possibility, but just started praying and asking our team of prayer warriors to do the same. At home, I emailed a friend who herself has hip dysplasia and is something of a leader in our local babywearing community and also called our chiropractor to set up a home visit for both cranial sacral adjustment (to support the healing of her mouth, per our IBCLC recommendation) and a hip adjustment and tips on supporting her hip developing. Friends from our prayer team shared that they had a child who had a click at their initial exam that self-resolved by one month and that one friend herself had hip dysplasia as an infant and that it is 100% treatable. I did some research and found this to be true!
Neither our midwife, at Ruth's newborn exam the day she was born, nor our chiropractor at the follow up in-home adjustment on Friday 10/12 heard a click and Dr. Dennis said it was slight, so we are prayerful and hopeful that this will self-resolve within the first few months of Ruth's life and not develop into true hip dysplasia that requires treatment.
But, as we wait, we are being extra cautious in anything that affects the position of Ruth's hip, from how I babywear, to how we swaddle, to how she is positioned in her carseat. This website gives great information on all of these!
Our chiropractor gave me an adjustment to do at home that helps put the hip socket deep into the joint as it should be as the ligaments are developing and recommended that, as good hip development therapy, I should wear her as much as possible with a good seat. Here is an article that supports this type of therapy (and though it specifically mentions one brand of carrier, the ERGObaby, the information applies to using any good carrier, sling or wrap that supports proper hip position for the infant, baby, or toddler). Also, my friend from the babywearing community gave me wearing tips that allow her hip to be positioned correctly that agree with what our chiropractor said and I've learned these past 2 years as a babywearer so that, as I wear her, the ligaments are allowed to developed accurately. I had heard a lot about his dysplasia from fellow babywearers over the past year and knew the importance of what is called a good "seat" for kiddos of all ages who are worn, and knew that, for newborns, the "seated squat" position is even more important as it allows those hips to be positioned correctly in the socket and avoid dysplasia. This is one of the key reasons that poorly designed carriers, such as the Baby Bjorn (maybe not all of them, but the majority), should be avoided as they put a baby's/child's legs in a position where they hang straight down and pulls the hip socket out of its correct position and this can actually cause hip dyslasia!
Here is information on Healthy Hip Babywearing and how to wear a baby safely for their developing hips.
We will see Dr. Dennis again this Wednesday as a "2 week" checkup to ensure Ruth is gaining weight well and thriving in her new little life and I will ask Dr. Dennis to check her hip again at that time and plan to see her again for a 1 month check up. We are praying that, by this time, the "click" in Ruth's hip will have self-resolved. If God has other plans, we will pray He provides resources and guidance for treatment that is as excellent as what we've had for Ruth's mouth and head over the past week.
In thinking of the encouragement from my doula, this verse I pray and cling to for the lives of my beloved children:
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
~ Matthew 6: 25 - 34 (ESV)
Yes, Lord! You watch the birds of the air and you are the Creator of my precious little ones. You were there when this baby in my arms was just a baby in my belly, whose future was so uncertain to me! YOU know her future and have planned her days. I will trust you with her little life. I will trust you with Jacob's life. Often imperfect in my faith, this pregnancy, this journey, and this past, intense week of doctor's and waiting remind me that YOU hold my life and the life of my family!
There is a song, also from the words of my doula, that reminds me of my mother-in-law. This song we played as one of many at the celebration of her life 2 years ago. Her name is Ruth Bruffey (who battled pancreatic cancer with amazing grace, declaring many times the goodness of her God who had given her much joy and happiness in her life - even amidst her intense battle with this ugly disease) and she is one of the strongest women I've known, along with my twin sister, Dr. Virginia Ruth Parish Beard, and my Grandmother, Evelyn McCraw Ptak (who battled breast cancer with incredible grace for over 25 years). For these women my daughter, Ruth Evelyn Bruffey, is named. God gave me this name and I see already why. My daughter is strong because her God is strong! These women, all believers in Jesus Christ and the one true God, are all strong and have walked journeys of intense faith. I love you Lord and lay my precious daughter before you even now. We ask for her protection from your hands and claim your promise in Isaiah 41:10 (ESV):
"...fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Here is a song in honor of the Ruths and Evelyn in my daughter's life... and that shows TRUTH for my own little Ruth Evelyn and her future:
~ Mama Bruffey ~
Daughter of God, Wife of One, Mother of Two
Oh my goodness! Y'all have been through a lot this first week. Praise God for all the answered prayers! You definitely have a very strong little girl. I was actually looking at Dr. Ghali's info online this afternoon. I need to take Ian to a pediatric dermatologist and wasn't sure where to go. He sounds like he is good and has a good staff though! I'm glad you posted about your experience with him.
ReplyDeleteIt was a really intense week but God has been SO gracious and taken care of our girl! She is strong - God has a plan for her, for sure! Dr. Ghali was great! He was really friendly - answered all my questions, and came recommended by our doctor. I would recommend him!
Delete