BB3: A Journey to {Hospital} Birth

Rebekah Eileen Bruffey

To keep a record, I decided to blog about the birth of our third child. I haven't posted since our second little blessing was one, but decided I wanted to capture this season of the life of our sweet third babe. We decided when our 2nd child was about 13 months that we wanted to pursue growing our family by one more. It took 6 months and we found we were pregnant with our BB3 at the end of May, 2014. There were some touch and go moments with these sweet little one, so we were very glad to finally hold her in our arms! I thought we were having a boy - everything in me just KNEW our BB3 was a boy. We had a gender reveal where we did not know ahead of time and were truly SHOCKED when the inside of some yummy cupcakes were PINK. I made sure we had a boy and girl name planned because I still really thought BB3 was a boy! When she was born, she revealed, she was, in fact, a girl! Here is the story of her arrival!

DOB: Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Time: 3:40pm

Location: Parking lot outside UMC Hospital’s Family Birth Center

Who caught the baby: a kind nurse named Denise

Who was present from our birth team: Josh and our doula, Thara

Who joined shortly after birth: Dr. J. Brinker (OB), Monica Bartels-Crable (Photographer)

A CHOICE: PLANNING A HOSPITAL BIRTH

With our first two pregnancies, Josh and I chose midwives for our prenatal care and planned out of hospital births. With our first, we labored for over 25 hours, realized our son was malpositioned, and at the guidance of our midwife, we transported to a hospital for support with our birth. With our second, we had a beautiful, healing homebirth under the care of our beloved midwife and doula. Then, when our second child was 4 ½ months old, we moved from the Dallas/Fort Worth area to Lubbock, TX. The birth options and resources are different. The closest midwife-run birth center is in Midland, 2 hours away. With how fast my 2^nd birth went, I just wasn’t comfortable either having to drive to Midland nor risking midwives not making it to our home in Lubbock. There was one midwife in Lubbock from the DFW area who birthed in DFW with midwives I revered there and also whose approach to practice matched what we were used to in DFW, but she had a baby  during our pregnancy and wasn’t available to take us on as clients. The day we found this out was the day God made it clear that we were to pursue a hospital birth. When we moved here in 2013, after living here a few months, I and another local mom hosted a “Lubbock Natural Birth Round Table” and had local birth-related service providers share about resources in our area. Through this, I learned about the only local Bradley instructor, a local family doctor who has OB specialization AND who is supportive of unmedicated, family-centered birth, and doulas in the area. I felt like God had shown us options for our hoped for birth with our third baby should we ever have one. I ended up becoming a new patient of this doctor, Dr. Jared Brinker, for both myself and Jacob and Ruth Evelyn. We clicked and I instantly admired how he interacted with my kids. When we decided to pursue a hospital birth, I had a list of 28 questions at my first prenatal appointment with Dr. Brinker. I’ll never forget – I told him, “I’m used to having midwives for prenatal care… I have lots of questions.” He smiled kindly and said, “I’m a midwife… I just have an MD after my name. Go right ahead!” and we went through EVERY one of my questions. Josh was SO impressed and told me when we left that God had given us all we could want in both pursuing the hospital birth we felt lead to pursue AND having a midwife-like model of care! Dr. Brinker is from the DFW area and his wife had birthed through the same birth center we used with Jacob and they even used the same birth photographer. I felt such a peace knowing he knew from experience our previous prenatal and birth journeys. And our entire prenatal care turned out to be all that we had hoped. There were times through the pregnancy where there were options to transfer to midwife care, but God just never gave us a peace to do so. Every concern or question I had about birthing in a hospital, from GBS (I was positive my first two pregnancies and negative this third!) to moving during labor to postpartum standard of care, etc. were answered and addressed as our prenatal care unfolded with Dr. Brinker. And much of the things we desired were the standard of care at UMC Hospital in Lubbock anyway. Dr. Brinker told us often that he would be an advocate for us as needed. Also, since he is a family physician, he would be both MY doctor AND our baby’s doctor! This was huge to us in light of how our son and us were treated by the on-call pediatrician when Jacob was born. We knew and trusted Dr. Brinker and were able to discuss his approach to caring for our newborn in advance so we knew what to expect. We just knew that God had us in his care for a reason. And as birth unfolded, we were so very glad that we stayed with our plan to have a hospital birth (though it really was more of hospital postpartum experience than a birth!) and continue with Dr. Brinker’s care through birth and postpartum.

A huge part of feeling at peace about planning a hospital birth was hiring a doula. We developed such an incredible friendship with our doula, Thara, who also taught the Bradley childbirth class that we took. She has become a treasured friendship here in Lubbock and her role in our pregnancy, birth, and postpartum has been more of a blessing than we can ever say.

It was mentally and emotionally difficult for me at first to not pursue an out of hospital birth and prenatal care, but God made it so clear to us that this was His leading and we had agreed that we would take each pregnancy God allowed us to have and ask HIM what type of prenatal care and birth He had planned for us, rather than sticking to one model of care and birth based on our own desire. And we are grateful to our God for the care we received and the birth of our second daughter that gave us such healing and time as a family!

So, how DID our daughter arrive in this world from the safety of the womb that housed her for 38 weeks and 6 days? And, as many of our friends have wondered, how did she come to be born in the parking lot outside UMC’s Family Birth Center? Here is her story… and our 3^rd Bruffey birth story.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 2, 2015

Monday, I was so tired and just felt “off” all day. In fact, I didn’t even feel up to cooking and we ended up going out for Sonic – we hadn’t had fast food in a while! I was regretting it come Tuesday! I had this “need” to finish my birth preparation plans, so the kids and I went to Hobby Lobby on Monday to get baskets for our birth team gifts and our nurses’ treat basket. Then, that evening when Josh was with us, we went to Sonic and then ran errands as a family to finish picking up a few things I had planned for birth, including big sibling gifts for Jacob and Ruth Evelyn. I stayed up until 2:30am Tuesday morning putting together my blessingway book of affirmations that had been given to me from some amazing women from my local moms’ group at a shower/Blessingway they had hosted for Rebekah and me, giving myself a pedicure, and wrapping the gifts for J and RE and assembling our nurses’ gift basket. I remember thinking “wouldn’t it be not so great if I went into labor after staying up until 2:30am?!” But I NEVER believed it would really happen with me being just 38 weeks 5 days on Monday! I figured I had finished my tasks and now could focus on cleaning my house to get ready for when the baby came in a week to a week and a half…

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2015

~ Labor Begins ~

So, I woke needing to go to the bathroom about 5am or 6am and when I sat up, I felt a slight wetness and thought, “was that my water?” I was so asleep I thought I just needed to go to the bathroom and had not made it fast enough and it was so early (not even 39 weeks!) I was in denial most the day that this was "real". I went to the bathroom and realized I needed to change pajama pants but it wasn’t the huge gush I had experienced with Ruth Evelyn, so I really did not think it was true “water breaking” nor the beginning of labor. I had a few contractions that woke me enough from sleep I laid their breathing through them, but didn’t fully wake up. I was just so tired I was in a dreamlike state. I woke for the day around 7am or so when Jacob and Ruth Evelyn woke for the day. I went to the bathroom and realized my 2^nd pair of PJ pants were wet, but not drenched like they would have been with Ruth Evelyn. I called Josh in and told him that I thought I was leaking some amniotic fluid and was having some contractions, but it wasn’t full on labor in my mind. I looked at the discarded PJ pants from overnight and realized how wet they really were and showed Josh. I had a few regular contractions at about 10 to 12 minute intervals, such that Josh decided to stay home from work. He later told me he KNEW I was in labor, even though I stayed in denial most the day. I called our doula just before 8am and she encouraged me to call our doctor and let her know what he said. We waited until almost 9am (because I just didn’t believe I was in REAL labor) and Josh called Dr. Brinker, who agreed it sounded like we were in early labor and to keep him posted when contractions were closer together. While I was laboring every 10 to 12 minutes during that hour, we decided to take Jacob and Ruth Evelyn to my friend’s house who had offered to watch them when we were in labor. The one main task I hadn’t yet done was to pack their suitcases. Josh ran to action and got them packed, loaded and dropped off in record time. I kissed and hugged them good-bye and we just told them they were going to play with friends. I wasn’t sure if a baby was coming, so didn’t want to tell them that and it not be true. They did amazing at my friend’s home (she has 2 children so it was really a great situation for them!). I was able to shower and ready myself in the event things did pick up and we needed to go to the hospital.

Showered, hair styled, and ready for what may come, whether labor or just a false alarm.

~ The Ebb & Flow of Labor ~

I laid down on our living room floor with my pregnancy pillow and a blanket to do some Bradley relaxation while my husband dropped the kids off and, a little after 9am, contractions suddenly spaced way out to over an hour apart, so I thought it was stopping/stalling. My son’s labor had done the same thing at the same time of day, so this really affected me mentally and I thought it meant I wasn’t really in labor and decided to just set my mind to waiting another week at least. A Bruffey baby at 38 weeks 6 days just seemed so impossible to me mentally. Looking back, I know the mind-body connection is so powerful and, in light of my first labor/birth experience with my son, I just did not want to jump to conclusions nor rush anything that my body wasn’t doing. Labor slowing down played a HUGE role in why I kept waiting to have our doula come and for us to head to the hospital – I wanted to be sure it was “real” and not assume things too early in the process.

Contractions..... that made me wonder if we were really in labor, of if we had a week or two still to go!

I clung to my birth affirmations and verses I had compiled from both my second birth and my Blessingway in January:

Verses, quotes, and encouragement from some amazing local friends!

Josh drove me to my chiropractic appointment near 10:30am. I had a contraction while we were there and was so glad Josh was with me! I will add here that all the contractions from that morning until I hit stage 2 (pushing) were INTENSE and required I stop and do my breathing/vocalizing through them. I had forgotten one of the “rules” Ina May teaches in her “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth” that states not to focus as much on timing of contractions as on intensity. If I had remembered that, I certainly would have realized and embraced the reality of being in labor much sooner.

~ LABOR Day Together: Time for Our Marriage ~

After a great adjustment with Dr. Hillman (where she confirmed I was Webster positive and baby well positioned, which put my mind at ease!), we came home and Josh got us a traditional BIRTH-day lunch – Chick-Fil-A! At that point, we took a walk around the neighborhood and it was a gorgeous day! Looking back, we had such a wonderful day of labor together and the season of the day when contractions stayed spaced apart allowed us some sweet time together… walking, talking and connecting. After our walk, we then decided to watch a movie and put in “Facing the Giants”. It was a perfect LABOR day movie! The scene where a player has to carry another player on his back the length of a football field was so inspiring to me! I got emotional as he cried out, “I can’t! It burns!” and his coach tells him, “You can! Don’t stop! Give me more!” I had contractions like every 40 minutes as Josh and I watched the movie. It was just a powerful movie to watch as we contemplated labor and the pending arrival of our daughter, whenever it might be, and a really special time together for me and Josh.

~ Encouraging Labor to Continue ~

 I thought of nipple stimulation and how I had heard this was helpful in encouraging labor IF the body is already ready. I got out my pump and set it up in the living room and did some pumping as we watched the movie. That really worked! After pumping 5 or so minutes, I had a contraction such that I had to get down on the floor and Josh got with me and I worked through the waves of the contraction. But they still did not come consistent or close, though the contractions were intense. One thing I remember is how often I had to use the bathroom. If my bladder got even a little full, I would have a painful contraction… if I kept it empty, the contractions seemed to stay spaced further apart and the intensity was still the same, but not the pain as it began. The whole process fascinates and intrigues me! I also was regretting that Sonic food as it hit my stomach hard while I was in labor!

~ From Peaceful & Intermittent to Fast & Furious ~

(aka: I finally embrace that I'm in labor)

Our doula, Thara, called us about 2:35pm to see how things were going. We had texted on and off throughout the day and I just kept waiting for contractions to be back at like 10 minutes apart consistently to ask her to come. I kept thinking I didn’t want her and our photographer here and us all just sitting around for nothing! Looking back, we should have had them come, but hindsight is 20/20! At this point contractions had still been about 40 minutes apart – I’d had maybe 2 or 3 the entire movie! Anyway, Josh told her I was pumping for nipple stimulation and she said that was great and to try to do it about 20 minutes out of every hour. I told him to ask her what I should do when a contraction hits. She said to just keep pumping… and we told her I couldn’t – they were too strong and I had to get down and really focus and breathe and work to relax through the contraction. She told us later that was when she WANTED to come because if they were that intense, something was happening! But I still didn’t think they were close enough – they had moved to about 30 minutes in spacing as I had one while Josh was on the phone with Thara and it had only been about 30 minutes since the previous one. They got off and he told her he would be back in touch soon as things picked up. Well, we had NO idea how things were about to “pick up”! Within minutes, contractions were 10 minutes apart and STRONG and after just a few of those, they were 5 to 7 minutes apart, then 4 minutes apart and not slowing down at all! Josh called Thara and she headed our way. By the time she got to our house (and we live about 10 minutes apart, so it may have taken her 15 minutes from the time Josh called her until she was in our driveway), my contractions were on top of each other and I knew a baby was about to emerge and soon! This was probably 3:10pm or so. Thara took over communicating with Dr. Brinker for us because things had picked up so suddenly and thoughtfully called him as we made our way to the hospital at breakneck speeds.

Josh had already loaded the car that morning (and I had loaded some things the day before just thinking they would sit for a week or so but be ready when we were). We knew we needed to go, so as Thara drove up, Josh went to tell her we were headed to the hospital post haste. I was trying to walk down our short hallway into the garage to get in the car but contractions were right on top of one another. At that point, I got somewhat fearful about not making it to the hospital because I finally KNEW that this was REAL and knew that I was in transition and stage 2 would come ANY moment. I looked at Josh and said, “They are right on top of each other!” I had experienced car laboring with my first labor/birth and it is simply HARD to get into a mental place of peace and focus in a moving car, especially one with a small front seat like our Honda CR-V! Josh was just frantic for us to get on the road. Neither he, nor our doula, nor me wanted to deliver at home with an unplanned homebirth. God was so good to us as it turns out we needed to be at the hospital immediately postpartum for my health!

Anyway, I made it into the car and didn’t even pretend to buckle in. I got on my knees facing backwards in the passenger seat and Josh took off. Thara followed behind us. She offered to ride with us to support me, but with three carseats filling our backseat, there was no room. At this point, my own emotions of just wanting to be at the hospital, combined with how strong and fast the contractions were coming, meant I had a hard time breathing, vocalizing, and approaching contractions with any sort of strong, peaceful serenity like I can do when I’m at home or even if we had been in an L&D room where I could move and focus and be near Josh and have Thara’s support. I tried breathing and vocalizing, but the drive seemed to take forever (I later learned Josh drove 95 to 100 mph to get us there so it was probably one of the fastest commutes from our home to UMC Hospital in Lubbock history). I just began to scream out as the pain came in waves that never fully relented. I cried prayers to God to help and to give me some respite until we could just get in to the hospital. My poor husband! There was about a 30 second break at one point where the waves of contractions did relent and I looked at Josh and told him calmly, “I’m ok. Really! I just have to scream some to get through this, but I am REALLY ok and know I’ll be ok.” It was the most bizarre thing. In my mind, the part that KNEW the baby would soon be out and the contraction waves would be over had this peace, and yet that part seemed to have shrunk as I tried to work through the pain of laboring in a car. Then there was this whole other part that had grown larger and just gave into the pain and lead me to scream and sort of thrash around. I felt such a quandary in my mind as my body labored. Yet deep down there was still an incredible peace that God was taking care of us and that my baby would soon be in my arms. I KNEW this even as I begged God to give me respite from the labor. It’s hard to put into words the contradictory feelings I was having as we drove – both peace and pain, inner quiet confidence even as I yelled through the contractions. The mind-body connection was surely battling. I felt as though I was pretty much howling and on my knees backwards in the front seat and holding Josh's seat or shoulder and my headrest and saying things like "aaaaah!! I can't do it!" And even as he sped towards the hospital, he was the most amazing birth partner, encouraging me by saying "You can! You are! You're doing great!" I am so in awe of my husband – such a blessing in my life!

~ Stage 2: Baby Girl Makes Her Appearance ~

As we were driving down Texas Tech Parkway that leads up to the hospital, I felt my baby girl drop and knew pushing was about to happen! I told Josh, “I feel her!” Ruth Evelyn was born so fast in water I didn’t have that same FEELING of knowing exactly where my baby was! It was wild and powerful and yet at that moment I really wanted her to wait a bit longer so she wasn’t born in a moving car! We pulled into UMC Hospital in front of the Family Birth Center and there were two men standing off to the side, one in scrubs. I remember Josh rolling down his window and calling out, “We need a doctor! She’s having a baby!” Very much like a movie now that I think about it! The men looked perplexed at first, but all I could think was that I did not think I could get out of the car! I knew I was about to push – contractions had changed and the deep, strong pain was not the same and I just knew it was TIME. It was amazing knowing my body and understanding what was transpiring!

As Josh opened the door for me, a young nurse came out pushing a wheel chair. As I began to step out of the car, I felt the tell-tale burning and Rebekah’s head crowning. I knew there was NO way I was sitting ANYWHERE for at least the next short while. I tried to tell the nurse that I couldn’t sit and started to pull my pants down. More nurses had come out and they all said, “no no!!” so I stopped but in my mind I thought I was about to push my baby out and have to reach in my pants to get her. We later talked to some of the kind nurses and they admitted that their reaction was initially because they have moms come in, usually first time or moms who’ve not had unmedicated births and they will be maybe at a 2cm or 3cm but not sure what they are feeling and the contractions are strong and they think the baby is about to born when they still have quite a while. Josh later said we should have told them, “this is her third! She knows what she is feeling!” The young nurse was insistent that I sit in the wheelchair and I was just as convinced that I couldn’t and had no intention of doing so. My amazing doula whispered to me to just lean back and she helped support me from behind as I leaned back but did not sit. Josh was supporting me from the front as I suddenly couldn’t really support myself and felt a strong need to push beginning. At that moment a more seasoned nurse, Denise, came out and took one look at me and looked at the other staff/nurses gathered around and Josh says she asked a bit briskly while pointing down at where my baby would soon emerge, “Has anyone checked?!” An odd silence fell and she immediately reached down and did what I had wanted to do… she pulled my pants down a bit and pointed and announced, “there’s a head!” I knew this because as she went to check I felt the MOST powerful, expulsive pushing contraction and felt like I roared as I pushed my daughter out, though Josh and Thara assure me it wasn’t that loud of a vocalization. I could not have stopped if told to and yet also felt very in control of what my body was doing – mentally and physically. I thank God for the wisdom of nurse Denise and Him sending her! Josh had stepped around to the back of the car to grab our bags not realizing I was about to push – I couldn’t really talk though inside I felt this incredible mental clarity and confidence. One more expulsive contraction and Denise reached down and caught our baby girl right there outside between the parking lot and Family Birth Center!

Rebekah's actual birth place - right here outside the UMC Family Birth Center!

~ Our Hospital Postpartum Journey: Finding a Room ~

(aka: Why Josh and I think God kept us from getting to the hospital too early!)

My doula pointed out that I had probably more privacy than if we had made it inside the doors because a wall of nurses/staff were behind us and I was facing our car, which was blocking a good view from the parking lot. As soon as my sweet baby emerged, Denise laid her on my chest and Josh had walked from behind the car as our baby was coming out and saw Denise hand her to me. I did not feel the chill in the air as the adrenaline and awe I felt overpowered anything else, but it was apparently a bit cool. Denise had a wise idea and reached and helped me slip Rebekah down into my shirt, so she could be kept warm and also skin to skin. I just remember seeing only Rebekah and feeling this great relief that my labor was done and my baby was in my arms! I was elated! Josh had started looking for something to cover us with and the nurse asked if he had a blanket… he found my robe in my suitcase and quickly passed that along and Denise laid it over Rebekah as an added layer of warmth. Then they began pushing us inside. As we entered the lobby of the Family Birth Center and were quickly pushed through the doors of L&D I could hear the staff talking as if in a distance saying that all the L&D beds were full. I had such peace at this point I was fine wherever they took us as long as me and my baby stayed together. I then began to feel a LOT of moisture between my legs and vaguely heard them saying I was losing a lot of blood. I looked down at one point and saw the mess I was making and looked up and realized how many nurses were accompanying us and said, “I’m so sorry about the mess!” and they were SO kind saying things like, “it is ok! You did amazing!” In the next few moments, I experienced firsthand that UMC Hospital really IS a hospital that values people, mamas, babies, and families and that their desire for a Mother/Baby Friendly designation is more than just talk for MANY of their nurses and doctors. As far as a planned hospital birth, I think very highly of UMC Hospital and their L&D and Postpartum staff, at least all those we encountered. They seemed frantic to find a bed for me and not only were all the rooms in L&D full, but so was triage. Finally, the wheeled me into a recovery area where there was an open bed. It seemed to me to take but moments, but apparently took several minutes to find this open space. I could hear them talking and one woman walked up – I still thought it was another nurse because I just kept thinking Dr. Brinker would be the only doctor that interacted with us, but later realized it made sense for them to call in a doctor that was already there until Dr. Brinker arrived. All this takes a while to share, but happened in probably less than 5 minutes time from when I stepped out of my car until I was in the bed in the recovery area. Anyway, the woman that walked up and took charge was saying they needed to cu the cord. This was when I remember fully engaging mentally on what was happening around me beyond me and my baby and the special world we had been in the previous few minutes. I looked at this kind woman (who turns out was Dr. Farooqui, about whom I had heard great things and felt blessed she was there, as she works with high risk mothers) and asked her if we could wait longer, explaining that I had talked with Dr. Brinker about more delayed cord cutting and clamping. Now, this was a pivotal moment for me and my experience at UMC. She could have briskly told me no – I was losing a lot of blood and my health and safety were a priority. But she chose to stop and look at me and even asked my name and explained calmly that I was losing a lot of blood and they believed my placenta had already detached and they needed to cut the cord so they could get the placenta and stop my bleeding. I had total peace! And then, something that amazed me all the more, she looked up at Josh and said, “Dad, would you like the cut the cord?” So even in a somewhat chaotic, emergency moment, she cared about our family and the significance of the moment of welcoming a new life. Josh declined preferring to stay close to my head and allow them to cut the cord. He had seen all the bleeding and was concerned. But it means the world to me he was given that option. With our second birth at home he both caught our daughter (who also came incredibly fast) and cut her cord, so he has said he had that experience and, for him, once was enough. The doctor then cut the cord and wrapped our baby girl and handed her to Josh and then reached up and I remember thinking it would probably hurt because I knew she was about to deliver my placenta! Well, they were right and it had detached and was on its way out because she barely reached up and had my placenta – I didn’t even feel it! Then, my first thought was “she’s damaging it! I need it whole and healthy for encapsulation!” So I spoke up, “We are saving that! We have someone coming to get it.” Dr. Farooqui didn’t miss a beat – she just said sure and got a container and made sure it was with me and Josh when a room finally opened up. And later, our placenta encapsulation specialist sent me a picture of our placenta, assuring me it was in pristine condition and very much whole and healthy!

Thara (Doula), Denise (Nurse who caught Rebekah outside), Me, Rebekah, and Josh

As I was being transferred to the bed in recovery and Josh was holding Rebekah, I was given a shot of Pitocin to help slow the bleeding. They cleaned me up a bit and once I was laying in the bed I heard them saying they needed to get our baby skin to skin with me. I was seriously amazed at how committed to these evidence-based practices this hospital and its staff/employees were! It wasn’t just something that was a marketing ploy, but really and truly what they embraced. To this midwife-using, homebirthing mama, this meant the WORLD to me. I KNEW that hospital births COULD be an experience that married both informed medical practice and evidence based birth knowledge that respected families, the bond of parents and children, the dad’s role in labor and birth, and the need for mama and baby to remain close… but had not had that experience in a hospital myself and, in fact, had experienced the opposite. UMC was a refreshing, encouraging, healing change for us. And I remember at one point Dr. Farooqui looking at me with a smile and such sincerity and her telling me, “you did a great job!” I so appreciate her presence and kindness and encouragement along with the nurses who were supportive and kind as we took the L&D by storm with our unusual arrival.

My baby girl was snuggled back with me and I was given a hospital gown to put on. I was amazed to find out that I had NO tearing. With as fast as Rebekah made her appearance and how it felt, I was sure there would be some. But there was not, meaning that with three vaginal births, I’ve had no tearing and am so grateful for that!

~ Our Hospital Postpartum Journey: L&D ~

My beloved and I with our newest little one in our L&D room.

We then were moved into a room in L&D and introduced to our nurse, Shelley. It was around this time that Dr. Brinker arrived (and all this happened from arriving in the recovery area to being moved to an L&D room in about a 10 minute time frame). He followed us into the L&D room and checked me to ensure my body was doing all it should, check blood loss, and examine Rebekah. He said all looked great and we all kind of laughed about our unconventional delivery. He said we were in good hands and that he would be back the next morning and if all went well we could be discharged at 24 hours after Rebekah’s PKU newborn screening. Shelley then was our main care provider for the evening until we were transferred to postpartum. She was so kind and a blessing during the 4 hours we were in L&D. At UMC, a mama and baby are kept in L&D for a few hours after birth to monitor blood loss and make sure all is well before transferring to postpartum. There are many things that I remember from our birth-center-to-hospital birth with Jacob that were traumatic for me and so many of these were vastly different at UMC. One of those that will seem a bit irreverent to mention, but was significant, was my first post-delivery trip to the bathroom. After my first was born, a nurse stood over me in the bathroom and I had to pee into this plastic measuring cup thing to measure output for the first several times I peed. Not being used to an audience when I use the bathroom, it took forever and felt quite demeaning. With my homebirth, my midwife team used peppermint oil, had me use a chiropractic technique and left me ALONE and I peed within moments of the door shutting. So, that was what I planned and hope for with this birth. Typically, UMC has mama and baby have skin to skin time for several hours. After about 2 ½ hours, I suddenly felt a strong need to use the bathroom. I also started feeling rather shaky and weak. I had been doing well and this came on kind of suddenly and I felt what seemed like a gush of blood flow out. I told the nurse and my doula, who had stepped out of the room, walked back in and commented that I suddenly looked pale. The nurse checked and I had lost a good amount of blood and as she checked my abdomen, my uterus had become what she called “boggy” – softer rather than firming up as it should. She massaged my abdomen/uterus and I told her I thought I needed to use the restroom. Rebekah had been snuggled up to me and breastfeeding for all this time, so when I felt the need to go plus the shaky feeling and blood loss, I was comfortable with letting nurse Shelley take her for a few moments while I tried to go to the restroom. Josh took Rebekah while Shelley got me into the bathroom. We realized that from the time Rebekah was put under my shirt outside and then placed skin to skin in the recovery area, she had just stayed with me and thus, with all the initial chaos for the staff, had never been diapered…  She had been nursing so well and when Shelley picked her up we found that she and I were a little wet! My doula brought peppermint oil and we put some in the toilet and some on my temples. Shelley said something about the nice smell of the peppermint oil and how that reminded her she needed to order some oils as hers were almost out. I asked her what kind she used and she said “Young Living”, which made me smile as this is one of the brands our doula uses. She helped me get settled and then said, “And I’ll give you some time alone.” And then she left the bathroom, closing the door behind her. I was delighted! It wasn’t but a few minutes as I sat, swinging my right arm forward and backwards (the chiropractic technique I learned from my homebirth midwife team) and peppermint oil and being left in privacy, and I was able to go! Which meant – no catheter needed! Another answered prayer. I called for Shelley and she helped me get situated and back in bed. Then they weighed Rebekah and she was a healthy 6 lbs, 15 oz and 19 inches long!

Thara (Doula), Shelley (L&D Nurse) and our little family

Not long after this, about 8pm, my mother arrived from Houston. I was so thrilled to see her! I hadn’t known if she would be able to come with how far apart we live and knew, with the support I have from Josh and the community God has built for us here in Lubbock, that we would be fine either way. However, once it worked out that she could come, my heart was so glad. As a good friend said when I was telling her how excited I was, a girl always wants her mama when she’s had a baby!

Kisses from Grandmother

Meeting Grandmother

~ Our Hospital Postpartum Journey: Postpartum Wing ~

Shelley’s shift ended, and a sweet nurse named Bailey came on duty. We then were transferred to the postpartum wing. I really liked our room and the nurses that cared for us were wonderful! Our first nurse was named Rose and she was fabulous! Just as our previous nurse had been, Rose was so kind and considerate and gentle with me and Rebekah. We had made a sign that we had run by both our doula and Dr. Brinker that asked that no ancillary services be offered to us, in order to minimize the number of people in and out of our room (at the recommendation of a friend of mine who recently birthed at UMC). Things like chaplain services, photographer services, etc., etc. we just didn’t want. So we made a sign that said so and also emphasized that our doctor, nurses, and the records department were welcome any time, but we just preferred not to have those auxiliary services offered so as to protect our time bonding as a family. Dr. Brinker recommended we give the sign to our postpartum nurse and they would put it in our file to share with the other nurses caring for us. We showed it to Rose and she was so kind and told us it looked just fine. She then hung it on our door! We didn’t expect this, but it seemed to be effective. During our short time there, the only people in and out of our room were medical personnel and the records department! And it didn’t seem to upset anyone that we made this request!

Once we were settled, our nurse took my vitals and checked Rebekah and then allowed us time to just be a little family. She came back in a couple of times to check my uterus and blood loss. Then, around midnight she did a final weight check on Rebekah and checked my vitals and told me we were doing great, Rebekah was nursing great and that she’d see us in the morning sometime after 5am! Josh and I didn’t sleep much as we were enthralled by our sweet baby girl. We dosed some, though the couch bed for Josh to sleep on was rather narrow so he wasn’t very comfortable overnight. Rebekah nursed and slept and was just a doll!

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 2015

~ Day 1: UMC and Postpartum Rest ~

No one bothered us at all until about 5:15am when a phlebotomist came and quickly drew my blood. Shortly after, a technician came in to do Rebekah’s hearing screening. Josh and I both feel that this was one of the things we would change if we could. The technician seemed new to the task and it took a long time for her to finally get an accurate reading. She at first preferred that Josh hold Rebekah, though I suggested she let me breastfeed her as this had been effective with my previous babies. After failing to get a good reading because Rebekah would move or make noise, she finally said that we could try having me breastfeed her. Rebekah settled right down and she was soon able to complete the test. Josh and I agreed that the same test would have been as effective 5 or 6 hours later as opposed to so early in the morning! But the technician was really kind and gentle. Our sweet nurse Rose didn’t come in until almost 6:30am! She checked our vitals and it was some time after that her shift ended and a new nurse, Julie, took over. She was equally as kind, considerate and a delight to have work with us. She was curious about our story, having heard about our parking lot birth. Once we told her all that had transpired, she commented that maybe next time we should come in once I started leaking fluid. We just smiled, knowing that we still would have waited longer than when my water first started leaking early in the morning. There was so much more to the story than we could tell in a nutshell that involved details of our first two births and what lead us to end up having a baby in a parking lot, so we just left it alone. She was so nurturing with us and Rebekah.

It was about 7am that a woman from the records department came and gave us the paperwork needed to get Rebekah’s birth certificate and social security card and said she’d return about 9am to pick up the final paperwork. Dr. Brinker came around 8am and checked me, my progress of healing and blood loss and then checked Rebekah’s vitals. He said all looked great and okayed us for discharge once we hit the 24 hour mark around 3:40pm and Rebekah had her PKU newborn screening! We were so thrilled and impressed with the efficiency of UMC!

Josh left shortly after Dr. Brinker to go pick up Jacob and Ruth Evelyn to come meet their baby sister. The woman from the records department returned and picked up our paperwork for Rebekah’s birth certificate and social security card. Then, our photographer, Monica Bartels-Crable, arrived shortly before Josh and the kids and my mother. It was such a perfect moment when they arrived! Both kids were so excited to meet Rebekah. Ruth Evelyn crawled right into bed with me and her sister and all she wanted to do was hold her! Josh and I had bought gifts from Rebekah to her siblings, so we gave them those. While Ruth Evelyn was enjoying hers, Jacob came and climbed up with me and his newest baby sister and snuggled her. It was precious! Monica captured our first moments together as a family of five and I treasure that!

The Bruffey Five!

Kiss from big brother!

Big sister snuggles!

My heart is full!

Sisters!

Excited about their big sibling gifts from Rebekah!

Big brother fascinated by his little tiny sister.

A sweet brother moment!

Enjoying her baby and diaper bag - like Mama!

A stolen kiss captured!

After a visit, Josh and Mother left to take the kids home. I had some lunch (I will say, most of our UMC experience was incredible, but the food was “not much better than the 1980’s hospital food”) and then I had some precious alone time just me and Rebekah. I held her and nursed her and delighted in her tiny newness.

Josh returned about 2:30pm and we spent the rest of our time together before discharge just enjoying our sweet girl. It was a sunny day and I remember the light streaming in through the window and how peaceful our time together, just me Josh and Rebekah Eileen, was.

Signing "MILK?" to his newborn daughter.

A Daddy and His Girl

My precious girl!

Being born is quite a journey!

A little after 3pm, Julie returned and started doing discharge procedures, which was exciting to me because I knew it meant we would leave pretty close to the 24 hour mark! Around this time, the woman from the records department brought us the final paperwork with the “Verification of Birth Facts” information on Rebekah for us to be able to add her to insurance and to confirm all her information that would be send to the state for her birth certificate plus passed on for her social security card. I really was impressed with the efficiency of UMC! And it was all done so smoothly I never felt like it overly interfered with our time bonding as a family! Right around 3:40pm, Julie did Rebekah’s PKU Newborn screening. Then, she gave me some discharge instructions (she was more concerned about me taking care of ME because of my unconventional delivery PLUS the blood loss I had experienced… she was really kind and it felt like a mother’s concern encouraging me to call at any sign of excessive blood loss or other concerning symptoms). Then, we loaded all of our things (which ended up being much more than I had organized and planned! I had separate bags for labor and postpartum, but with how we arrived in a whirlwind, all the bags ended up with us in postpartum… so much for trying to simplify Josh’s life of loading the car!) on a cart and headed to the car. Julie and I waited in the lobby as Josh brought the car around – ironically to the exact spot where Rebekah had been born just 24 hours earlier! It was MUCH colder than I expected so Julie and I were working to keep Rebekah covered and warm as we hurried her to the car and got her buckled in her carseat and snuggled in the warmth of the car! Josh finished loading our bags and helped me into the car and then we were off! Taking our third baby home to start life as a family of five!

Ready to Go Home!

Ruth Evelyn so excited her baby sister is home!

Snuggles with big brother Jacob!

~ Our Healing Hospital Journey: Redemption of the Heart 4 1/2 Years Later ~

As Josh and I have processed our third birth together, one thing became clear to us. On the 2^nd day we were home, as I was showering and reliving our labor and birth day, one thing struck me and brought an overwhelming since of gratitude for God’s gracious provision. He gave us what we didn’t have with our first hospital birth… a beautiful postpartum! To explain, let me share first a bit of our story:

(The Birth of BB1)

With our firstborn, I’ve long processed some of the chaos and trauma of his birth that left me with some postpartum depression and anger and frustration on how women in labor and families with newborns are treated. As I looked back, Jacob’s labor was somewhat chaotic in that it would progress and then stall and we just weren’t sure what was happening for about 25 hours until my midwife realized he was malpositioned and we made the decision to transport to a hospital. But it wasn’t traumatic beyond me just learning about the importance of babies being well positioned for labor and sent me into a journey of learning how to optimize a baby’s position when pregnant. And our labor/birth at the hospital was a time of rest and excitement for me and Josh. We loved our L&D nurse, Lou Ann, who was kind and obviously saw taking care of laboring mothers as a joy and ministry. When things with Jacob’s birth really turned harsh was the moment he was born. It was the staff that cared for us postpartum from the moment he was born that was unkind! It was our postpartum hospital journey that was traumatic! From the nurses talking intentionally about us in front of us – about all that was “wrong” with our son because of the choices we had made being out of hospital and all that was “stacked against him” (actual words used) to the pediatrician that was cruel and condescending and we feared wouldn’t allow our son to leave because he was so antagonistic about every choice we made to staff that came across as uncaring in even the little areas (I hadn’t washed my hair in 3 days because of being in labor and kept asking if I could and was blown off)… because we came in as midwife patients, we were treated as negligent and there was an obvious hostility rather than just embracing us as humans in need and seeking to provide kind care and “do no harm”. The on call pediatrician refused to do any procedures or checks of our son in our room and insisted on having him taken out. He criticized us for wanting to have our midwife do our PKU screening (because we had already paid her fee that included this procedure, so we didn’t want to pay for it twice, plus our midwife had done all our prenatal care and it just made sense to have her do this test) and told us he would call CPS if we didn’t allow him to do it. So, of course we did because the emotions and fear were just too great and not worth the battle after all we had been through with our long labor. We chose, as the law allows, to decline the vitamin K shot and we were berated and accused of being willing to allow our infant to bleed to death. He told us that midwives “are good for helping with breastfeeding, but that’s it” and told us our baby needed to see “a real doctor” within three days of discharge. I told him we had a pediatrician he would be seeing and the doctor literally scoffed at us and demanded to know who. I looked at him coldly and told him the name of our pediatrician (a well-known and respected doctor in the DFW area) and he looked stunned and said he knew of that doctor and that he was a fine pediatrician. I said something short and with a cool tone like, “I know.” It was just choice after choice made in such a way that seemed to “punish” us. We were talked down to and threatened as parents and it was beyond scarring for us both. We never thought we would birth at a hospital after that and avoided hospitals and modern medicine in all but what seemed to be dire situations. And this is ironic in my life, having grown up with a grandfather who was a family doctor/OB/surgeon and a grandmother and aunt and cousin who were all nurses. I knew and respected modern medicine all my life and that one experience turned me against that arrogance and ability to demean and shame and instill fear in well intentioned people like myself and my husband. People would later ask us when we were pregnant with our second baby if we were going to use an obstetrician since we had the malpositioned struggle in labor with our firstborn. I had decided that, as long as I and baby were healthy, we would be nowhere near a hospital and we were so grateful to have a redemptive, peaceful, joyful birth at home in water in our own living room with our second child. It gave me a sense of peace and empowerment and healing about birth that restored my own heart and soothed the scars that had struck my heart during our first hospital experience. My recovery was light years easier both physically and emotionally.

(The Birth of BB3)

In contrast, Josh and I marveled during our time at UMC at how we felt such peace. You see, on thing that struck as after moving to Lubbock and realizing we would most likely have a hospital birth is that there were still things from our first birth experience that the best way to find healing would be to have a redemptive hospital birth!

Josh remembered how he felt tense at our first hospital birth experience and anxious to leave. I remember having a “fight or flight” reaction and wanting to be ANYWHERE other than that hospital in 2010. I never would have thought I could have a peaceful, encouraging experience in a hospital. It was our first birth that turned me against much of modern medicine for several years. In contrast, the welcome and gentleness and kindness and respect we received at UMC gave us such a peace and we could relax and just enjoy one another and our newborn daughter with no fear of her being taken or mistreated. Josh even shared that, when he went to get a drink at a vending machine at one point, Dr. Farooqui was in the hall and stopped him and said, “How’s it going Josh?” He was so taken that she remembered his name that he says he responded with something funny/witty. This story is just one example of the genuineness of the doctors, nurses and staff we encountered during our short time at UMC’s Family Birth Center.

So, from our first birth with our oldest, it wasn’t the labor or the birth that was traumatic for us, but rather it was the postpartum journey at the hospital. And God in His awesome goodness gave us JUST that for our hospital experience with our third birth… the postpartum experience! She was born as we arrived and thus our whole hospital experience WAS postpartum. From the moment Rebekah emerged, the nurses and doctors and staff were kind, thoughtful, encouraging, welcoming, gentle and all they did supported our unity and bonding as a family. Some of the things I was concerned about with laboring in a hospital became a non-issue, even though it was not our plan to birth outside the hospital. And then we were able to enjoy a beautiful time of postpartum rest and healing in the UMC Family Birth Center. It was such a blessing to have that postpartum experience that was redemptive in comparison to our first postpartum hospital experience.

Overall, our labor and birth were a time of togetherness for me and Josh, of me learning more about my body and a day of sunshine and peace and freedom as I labored and anticipated my daughter soon being in my arms. Even though the last thirty minutes were something of a whirlwind, there were so many details in which God met my heart and lead our day that I wouldn't change a thing! Another unmedicated birth during which I got to feel the power of pushing and strength of God as He walked me through bringing my baby into the world.

~ A THANK YOU ~

We thank God for the birth team He guided us to for this pregnancy and birth!

Dr. Jared Brinker: We are so grateful that God lead us to Dr. Jared Brinker and the rest of our birth team. A local doula and leader in the birth community, Ashli Powell, is who I first met in 2013 and it was from her I learned much about the local birth community and found Dr. Brinker through her recommendation. Dr. Brinker is an unmedicated advocate and serves not only as a doctor for a pregnant mother, but from our experience and his own statements, as a member of the birth team and advocate for the family as they pursue a hospital birth. His care modeled the care we had experienced with midwives and his knowledge of both scientific literature pertaining to pregnancy and birth along with midwifery literature was reassuring to me many times throughout labor

Doula: Thara Reinitz: We met our doula, Thara Reinitz, through a birth round table I and another mom hosted in 2013. She is the only Bradley natural childbirth instructor in Lubbock and we loved her class! . Thara, as our doula, became a friend and trusted guide in our pregnancy and birth journey. 

Dr. Jenna Hillman, DC: I learned through my pregnancies the importance of chiropractic care for both baby positioning and overall mama wellness. I was so excited to find a Webster certified chiropractor here in Lubbock!!

Monica Bartels Photography: We found Monica Bartels-Crable through a local moms' group and she has become a friend and a photographer who has captured many special moments for our family. 

Vanessa Rautis, IBCLC: We also have been blessed to find an IBCLC, Vanessa Rautis, who has helped as we began our breastfeeding journey and become a friend through a local moms' group, as well! 

We did not know what Lubbock would hold in terms of resources for growing our family, but we are so very thankful for Dr. Jennifer Phy, Dr. Jared Brinker, Thara Reinitz, Dr. Jenna Hillman, Monica Bartels-Crable, and Vanessa Rautis - our birth team! We also are grateful for the many others, like Ashli Powell, who invest in the Lubbock birth community by serving mamas and families and guided our initial steps to finding the birth resources we needed. 

~ Our Beautiful BB3 ~

Welcome to the world, Rebekah Eileen Bruffey! We delight in the gift of you and your unique, powerful, peaceful, healing birth!!

~ A Final Baby Bump Picture ~

(40 Weeks; Rebekah is 8 Days Old!)

~ Newborn Photoshoot with Monica Bartels Photography in Lubbock, TX! ~

~ Mama and Rebekah Eileen ~

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Monday, February 9, 2015

(Rebekah 6 days old)

Me and My Girl

~ Elizabeth Parish Bruffey ~